SOFTLY, AS I LEAVE YOU...

"Softly, as I leave you..." is not the most popular of Frank Sinatra's songs, but as no other popular singer, he made it his. The song is particularly apt at this time, as he has left us, softly and sadly.

I was amazed that in the midst of this media blitz about the incomparable Frank Sinatra, that on a lark I typed in "Sinatra.com" on my web browser, and sure enough, there was a memorial website for ol' blue-eyes. I clicked on the Sinatra family and before I knew it, his voice came rolling in from my computer speakers. It was, sure enough, "Softly, as I leave you..." and as I listened raptly, it was as if he were here with me in my den and I was alone with him.

He didn't sound like a chairman of the board or a gangster. All I could hear was an unspeakable tenderness, an understanding all-encompassing compassion, a great sincerity, from the bottom of his heart. That was the gift of Francis Albert Sinatra, along with a natural, intuitive musicality, a dedication and perfection of his craft that enabled him to sing with an art that was lauded and appreciated for over half a century.

Of course he was tough. His father was a blue-eyed, tattooed prize-fighter from Sicily, trying to make a living in the New World as an Irish-named boxer, "Marty O'Brien." An Italian name could not make it in the boxing world at that time. And tougher than nails was his Italian mother, one who would stop at nothing to support her only son and advance his career. So of course he was tough, he had a rough side, he came from working class Hoboken. But he had a sincere and uncompromising tender side when he sang.

An artist transcends his worldly existence. Although Mozart and Beethoven had lives of great anguish, misery and struggle, their music soared to heights of glory. Although Picasso was a brute and womanizer, he was a great lover and his art expressed his creative passion.

In art we cannot have it both ways. A conformist, a nice guy, is not a great artist. A supremely gifted artist is in ferment and turmoil, and translates his or her pain into a vehicle of pleasure or enlightenment. Artists have the rare gift of not being afraid of their unconscious, of the dark side. Deep in the unconscious is the dark 'shadow' of Jung, the primitive instincts of Freud. It is the source of Love (Eros) and Death (Thanatos). Most 'normal' people are frightened of their deep, primitive urges, and so their creativity is partially blocked. The unique characteristic of the artist is that he or she is in touch with the primitive symbols, magic and passion of the unconscious, but in a controlled way, not going crazy. They may be eccentric and moody, but control is everything. It is one thing to control one's personal life, another to control one's artistic expression.

Sinatra devoted much time and effort to the develop his unique skill of voice control. But control and technique are not enough for a creative artist. Something deep must come from within.

The hallmark of the artist is the harnessing of the wild in deference to the demands of civilization. Society demanded of Frank Sinatra that he obey the rules we all have to obey. He is not supposed to sock anybody when he is angry, he is not allowed to lose control. He shouldn't hang out with gangsters of the Mob, but they had something in common. He was not judgmental, except to those he felt would thwart him. It was good to be his friend--- bad to be his enemy.

In the world of popular music, his popularity ranks above and beyond Elvis Presley and the Beatles, consummate musicians as they were; he outlasted them all. One can listen to him sing forever, you never tire of him. Unlike today's singers, he worshipped every note, every phrase, every syllable, and he always gave credit to the song-writer.

Frank Sinatra is a prime example of the paradox and contradictions inherent in being a human being. He could be brutish like a thug; he could also be a tender, compassionate and passionate lover as a ballad singer. He exuded sincerity and integrity. But all in all, he was a man, unique in all this world, however fallible. We shall not see the likes of him again. He did it his way. How enviable!

Dr. Bloom is Clinical Associate Professor of Psychiatry, Wayne State University School of Medicine. He is a Diplomate of the American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology and Life Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association. He is a member of the American Academy of Psychoanalysis and corresponding editor of their quarterly journal, Academy Forum. He welcomes comments and questions at his e-mail address: vbloom@comcast.net.