LOVE

Victor Bloom MD

In the Sunday New York Times book review section, John T. Noonan, Jr. quotes the famous Supreme Court judge, Benjamin Cardozo, on love. Officiating at a wedding in 1931, Cardozo said: "Three great mysteries there are in the lives of mortal beings: the mystery of birth at the beginning: the mystery of death at the end; and, greater than either, the mystery of love. Everything that is most precious in life is a form of love. Art is a form of love, if it be noble; labor is a form of love, if it be worthy; thought is a form of love, if it be inspired."

The book is "Cardozo", written by Andrew L. Kaufman, himself a judge of the United States Court of Appeals of the Ninth circuit, whose most recent book is "The Lustre of Our Country." The writer of the review then ends with, "Kaufman's "Cardozo" is a labor of love worthy of its subject."

It is interesting to ponder what brings Cardozo to such profound thoughts on the nature of love. He never married. He lived with his older sister, Nellie, eleven years his senior, who raised him and who also never married. The author deliberately avoids speculation about the nature of the relationship, but makes it clear that the relationship, while being intensely emotional, was not sexual. There was a purity in Cardozo's conduct and mind which was extraordinary and palpable.

The book cites a note found in Cardozo's desk at his death. It said, "To Whom It May Concern: This is to certify that I love my Nunnie better than all the rest of the world combined. Dated, N.Y., Aug. 20, 1898. B.N.C." This note refers to his sister and was kept in his desk for forty years. When he wrote it he was 28 and she was 39. Although the author does not speculate on the meaning or significance of this note, perhaps leaving the reader to come to his or her own conclusions, the reviewer remarks that the formality of the opening and the dating are in tension with the content, and that the preservation of the document must have marked a crisis in their relationship.

Nellie was his sister and mother-surrogate, and so the only form of love possible to a man of honor and nobility was a strong emotional attachment. What would have been for him a romantic attachment to another woman was sublimated to a higher form of love, a love of Art and a love of the Law. Sublimated love is civilizing, while unsublimited love tends to simple pleasure-seeking without consideration or responsibility to the other person. Sublimated love is mature, while immediate gratification of desires harks back to childishness.

Among the mysteries of contemporary life is the fact that the industrial-technological age and the current climate of consumerism fostered by the media have seemingly eroded the concepts of nobility, honor and inspiration. These qualities were well represented in the PBS series on the Civil War, citing letters from soldiers during the war to their loved ones. The mystery of love somehow explained how a man who could write tender love letters could also march into a line of rifles at point blank range.

There were some principles which transcended a person's life. Sheer existence and survival were animal traits. Love is an emotion which seems to transcend ordinary life, while at the same time, it suffuses all aspects of being. Those who feel incapable of love have a need for understanding and compassion, and ultimately a need for healing.

No one need be devoid of love if he or she finds work which is worthy, or enjoys art which is nobly fashioned, or appreciates thought which is inspirational. For those of us who remember the early part of the 20th century, it would be interesting to compare what was inspirational then, and to ask, what is inspirational now.

Dr. Bloom is Clinical Associate Professor of Psychiatry, Wayne State University School of Medicine. He is a Diplomate of the American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology and Life Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association. He is a member of the American Academy of Psychoanalysis and corresponding editor of their quarterly journal, Academy Forum. He welcomes comments and questions at his e-mail address: vbloom@comcast.