CHARACTER-BUILDING

Victor Bloom MD

Recently a local newspaper printed a feature about the influence on a school curriculum fostered by an educational group which had an agenda of teaching 'character.' Spurred by the recent spate of children killing children and a tendency in our society toward rampant materialism, a decline of moral standards and a neglect of children, this group helped organize a number of school boards to include the teaching of character as a primary value.

I became suspicious of the premise that BOLD<"character">BOLD can be BOLD<'taught'>BOLD in school. My background in education suggests that the role of the school is to teach the three 'R's and a few other basics, such as history, geography and science. I would add a fourth R--- "Relationships". I don't think you can teach character, but I do believe you can teach good interpersonal relationships. A humane and wholesome relationship with another human being should involve the following traits--- respect, civility, compassion and understanding, which leads naturally to sensitivity and empathy. Teachers and children need to learn more about the derivatives, purpose and meaning of human relationships. Such topics would fit into the category of psychology.

Everyone knows that kids can be very cruel. Little is done to prevent this tendency from being acted out. Taunting and teasing should be actively discouraged by parents and teachers. Intolerance and prejudice should be defined and proscribed. Children should be strongly discouraged from perpetrating acts of meanness and pettiness. Don't worry about their self-esteem. They do not elevate their self-esteem by denigrating others. Time and time again they should be reminded of The Golden Rule. They should be helped to take responsibility for their behavior.

The most influential method of teaching is by example. Parents and teachers should exhibit salutory behavior and must be excellent role-models. In doing so, parents and teachers would talk and behave in such a way that the children under their influence will learn that intolerance and cruelty are bad and wrong, that deliberate mischief is strongly disapproved and not funny, that bullying and scapegoating are, to say the least, unbecoming.

Adults' behavior should demonstrate, for example, that drinking to excess is not to be tolerated, that smoking is unhealthy, that taking drugs clouds the mind. Adults should provide a role-model of balance, a balance between self-control and creative freedom, of work and play. Their everyday behavior should exemplify responsibility to and respect for all other persons, as well as other systems of belief. Children are confused when they see that the words and actions of parents and teachers do not coincide. The parental command, "Do what I say and not what I do!," is unacceptable and irrational. Parents and teachers need to work on becoming as thoughtful and rational as possible in relation to their children. Though we cannot and should not demand knee-jerk obedience, we should expect children to listen, reason and learn. Still, the parents are authority-figures, not just chauffeurs and playmates.

Children with a good genetic endowment and an otherwise favorable environment will develop what we call a strong and independent character. Such people are regarded as trustworty and responsible, loyal and dedicated, good-natured and good-humored. They are tolerant of others, civil and law-abiding, spontaneous and honest. In addition, they tend to be open and playful, able to work, self-sufficient and self-contained. They are able to love and be loved. Such a person has integrity; there is a wholesome wholeness about them. They are givers and helpers more than takers and victims.

Those who claim to teach character emphasize BOLD<obedience to authority>BOLD and an excess of humility. The people who advocate obedience to authority forget the example of Nazi Germany, where an entire nation took up the war cries of a murderous madman, called 'Der Fuhrer' (The Leader). Even brilliant generals and industrialists obeyed him, even as they knew his values negated the basic tenets of civilization. Too many German people, taught to obey, submerged their highest principles and sense of outrage as they joined the storm troopers and Gestapo, who became hoodlums, robbers and murderers.

It must be remembered that when Adolph Eichmann was put on trial, his defense was that he was BOLD<only following orders.>BOLD He put obedience to authority over the dictates of conscience and the Ten Commandments. He chose to follow Hitler instead of God and Scripture.

So how is a child to learn what and whom to obey? He/she needs to learn that questioning authority is not only all right, but necessary. Some of the best people in history have done it, from Job to Jesus and from Ghandi to Martin Luther King, Jr.

If the curriculum should include the teaching of character, there is no better example for it than in the writings of Ralph Waldo Emerson. In his classic essay, "On Self-Reliance," he says, "Whoso would be a man (human) must be a nonconformist." He was not talking about the kind of non-conformity of the 60's, when 'anything goes' and many were letting it all hang out. He was talking about not going with the herd, resisting peer pressure and current trends, so that a person has the ability to think for him/herself.

A person with a strong and stable character is the object of admiration. An entire life goes into its development. It cannot be taught in school like another academic subject.

Dr Bloom is Clinical Associate Professor of Psychiatry, Wayne State University School of Medicine. He is a member of the American Academy of Psychoanalysis and on the editorial board of the Wayne County Medical Society. He welcomes comments at his email address--- vbloom@comcast.net.