COMPUTER-PHOBIA AND YOUR KIDS

Victor Bloom MD

While more and more families own computers and people are becoming more and more computer-literate, there is a significant portion of the population with computer-phobia. Avoidance of using computers is rationalized every which way.

I don't have the time (to learn). My (creative) mind doesn't work that way. I already have enough information. Other people can look things up for me and tell me about what's available. I'm not "cutting-edge" or 'avant-garde'. I'm just old-fashioned. These people might as well have avoided the horseless carriage or the telephone.

We are well into the computer age--- the Internet and the World Wide Web will significantly determine future trends. While we speak, most newspapers and magazines are online, and so are many significant databases, from dictionaries and encyclopedias to local maps and world atlases, to the stock market and entertainment. Using a web browser, you can quickly see what movies are available locally. It is easy to check the reviews, theaters and times.

Undoubtedly, you know you can do your shopping online, which includes the world's largest bookstore (Amazon.com). And almost anything else you can think of, from airline tickets to automobiles. In the future, automobile dealerships may become obsolete, as you can order your car online. No dealer's costs, infinite inventory.

The breaking news and weather is instantly available from CompuServe or America Online, or from the online Detroit News or Free Press. Your own Grosse Pointe News has a website. In fact, this article might show up on it, if I play my cards right. News is also available from the New York Times online, the AP, CNN or ABC News. There's a kick to being the first to know what is happening.

Much scientific knowledge is freely available online, everything from anatomy and physiology to astronomy and physics. Colleges are offering online courses of study, including courses for credit. Whole courses are given on floppy discs and tests are taken and automatically scored and graded.

Our children are on the cutting edge, much more than we realize, and computers are as familiar to them as books were to us. No more Dick and Jane primers. Sesame street teaches the alphabet and arithmetic, and now they are on CD-ROM. Modern teachers are using computers daily.

What I am getting at is that parents need to keep up to help their kids with homework and study, and ultimately to supervise their computer-ramblings, as vice and trouble are not far behind. Not at all.

More than you realize, word is out on the kiddie grapevine that there's a lot of sexual stuff on the Internet. While government and computer experts are trying to figure out how to control this, kids are turning to the lurid and the secret and mysterious, and sex is something they know we don't talk about much and want to shield them from. French postcards are passé.

One girl of my acquaintance, age 12, was 'chatting' with what she thought was a teenager on AOL. The father found out that the talk was getting seductive and he was cautioning his daughter not to talk to strangers. Here's a new one! Not only must we be careful who our kids talk to in reality, but we have to be careful in virtual reality as well. The father, being wise and suspicious, assumed his daughter's 'handle' and chatted with the teenager. Tracking this man, he found that he was in his forties and hung out on the 'gay' channel, enjoying 'hot-chatting' with his boyfriends, who were adults. He enjoyed titillating young girls as a pastime. The father told his daughter about this deception, and she was momentarily crushed. She 'trusted' this friendly man and thought she got to know and like him, and now she was confused and disappointed. Some empathic fatherly guidance helped the girl, and now she is more careful in these chat rooms.

There are supposed to be separate chat rooms for kids and grownups, but people are curious and wander and like to play games. So what else is new? But it's a whole new arena, and it is here to stay. So parents need to get computer-literate so they can actually supervise their youngsters in their use of the computer, knowledgeably.

Parents will learn that online services have means of 'parental control' and can prevent their children from getting into adult channels. In a way it is similar to parental controls for movies. Knowledgeable parents will caution their children not to reveal their true identities or addresses or personal family information online, as there are stalkers and hackers out there, and some who would even want to meet your child in person.

I don't want to give the impression that the Internet is full of stalkers and weirdos. At least it is not different from the general population. As is the world in general, there is much of value in the Internet, the landmines and booby-traps are few and far between.

But still it is good for parents to keep pace with what is going on in the world, to be able to supervise and guide your child. Just as you would not have your toddler run into the street or play on the freeway, the information super-highway is being here and there are a few hazards to avoid. But first you must have knowledge, and therefore it would be good to get over whatever computer-phobia you might have.

Dr. Bloom lives and practices in Grosse Pointe Park. He is Clinical Associate Professor of Psychiatry in Wayne State University's School of Medicine, Diplomate of the American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology, Life Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association and member of the American Academy of Psychoanalysis. Questions and comments may be e-mailed to vbloom@comcast.net.