PRIMITIVISM OR REFINEMENT?

Victor Bloom MD

Recent allegations of sexual and alcoholic wrongdoing are being hotly debated in the Grosse Pointes. We don't know all the facts, but we do know that the parents of some young girls do not want certain young men to get away with abuse of their daughters.

Part of the discussion is that "boys will be boys", and no need to make a fuss over it. Others say the girls were consenting. Still others say there is no harm done, so why is there prosecution and a jury trial? The law is clear that a girl the age of 16 or less cannot give consent to sexual intercourse. The law is called, "statutory rape" and therefore the young girl is called, "jail bait".

If the young men are found guilty, they face jail sentences. The question is, considering these times, does one such 'mistake' deserve a jail sentence and the ruination of a life? Teenagers comprise a phenomenon of raging hormones and therefore behave irrationally and impulsively, not realizing the consequences of their actions. Similarly, young girls lack experience but don't lack curiosity or a sense of adventure through risk-taking and pleasure-seeking.

This 'natural' situation of teenagers must have been the same since the stone age. But as experience accumulated and visionaries propounded, teenagers were supposed to be guided to avoid premature entrance into sexual activity. History has shown that teenage sexual activity often results in tragedy. There are unwanted pregnancies and unwanted venereal diseases. It is well known that many adolescents deny the realities and rationalize extensive sexual activity. They think that nothing bad can happen to them.

We know they are often wrong. The movie, "Kids", showed real teenage actors doing what some teenagers do. They 'party'. Now the word means music, dancing, alcohol, drugs, sex. The movie graphically shows a young stud proudly bragging of his accomplishments to a buddy. His method of avoiding AIDS is to have sex with a virgin. He has a way with the girls and so has a black book full of deflowered young girls. One of the girls gets an HIV test and it comes out positive, and realizes she must have got it from the young Lothario. He has got it and is spreading the disease far and wide.

The movie is an eye-opener, but nobody wants to see it. Watching it is very uncomfortable, because it is so real. Some teenagers associate with the movie, saying that it showed the way things really are, and others say that their group doesn't act that way, feel that way or think that way.

So there are the 'good kids' and the 'bad kids'. What differentiates them? One simple answer is heredity. Some kids are by nature wild and reckless and impulsive. They don't dwell for long in fantasy; they want to act them out. In doing so they lose a certain sense of reality, and that reality is the reaction of the community and the law, and another reality is the feelings of the injured parties.

I do believe that to a large degree parents nowadays have neglected or abandoned their responsibility to parent their children. Therefore, children are doing things they never did before. The worst examples in recent news reports have been the child mass murders on the school grounds. But the fact is that many parents have turned the acculturation process to the media, and as we well know, the media is full of sex and violence, and what is worse, lacking in redeeming values.

Teenagers today are rarely brought up to be decent ladies and gentlemen. The graces are lacking, as is often evidenced by raggedy clothes and careless grooming. There is an unaccountable regression toward primitiveness, including multiple body-piercing and tattoos. Parties quickly degenerate into drunken orgies.

Parents should know where there children are. Parents should spend time explaining about hormones and the tendency to recklessness. Parents should inculcate morals and sensitivity to others. One moral worth keeping for teenagers as well as presidents is not to abuse power. And to be sensitive to and caring about the feelings of others. It is not all right to exploit other people.

These lessons are learned from the highchair up, and the most powerful lesson is the behavior and attitude of the parents. They are the role-models for civilized behavior.

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Dr. Bloom is Clinical Associate Professor of Psychiatry, Wayne State University School of Medicine. He is a Diplomate of the American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology and Life Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association. He is a member of the American Academy of Psychoanalysis and corresponding editor of their quarterly journal, Academy Forum. He welcomes comments and questions at his e-mail address: vbloom@compuserve.com and visitors to his website: factotem.com/vbloom.