THE LURE OF INDEPENDENCE

Victor Bloom MD

The fourth of July we celebrated our independence from England, which the founders of this great nation articulated on July 4, 1776. The written Declaration of Independence was on parchment paper. The reality had to be established by taking arms, shedding blood and winning a military victory. We would not be a colony, exploited by a kingdom on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean. Our forefathers had to fight for the right to be free.

What is this yearning for freedom? Three thousand years ago the Jews wanted to be free from enslavement by the Egyptians. Just over a hundred years ago the Union fought the Confederacy to free the slaves. More recently the labor unions fought for the right to be free from control and exploitation of the big companies. There is always a struggle for independence, always pain and conflict, but the need to be free is ubiquitous and undiminished throughout recorded history.

The basis for it is built into each human being.hermes replica bags In the beginning we were born to be free from the confines of the womb. Nine months is enough of protective warmth, nurturance and darkness. The baby bursts forth in the miracle that is birth. The infant still needs much nurturance and protection, the tender care we call love. Soon the baby is looking about and smiling, entering into a give and take, forging bonds that will last a lifetime. In a year or two the child will be walking and talking, demanding more and more independence. By a year and a half, if all goes well, the child is psychologically separate, has an identity, a Self of its own. The experts call the process "separation and individuation," a process which continues and evolves for a lifetime.

School takes the child out of the immediate family and into the larger community, imparting an education for further independence from the family, and into a wider world of possibilities. The child is in preparation to be an adult. Before long the child is into puberty and adolescence, and the call of the wild is in the air, hormones and phaeromones whetting the appetite for still more independence, independence from what is felt to be outmoded values and restrictions, issued by supposedly wiser elders, who demand and enforce constraints. Freedom and independence must be earned. Each person must pay his or her dues. There are many tests, physical and mental, before adulthood is achieved. The teenager naturally rebels, demanding more and more privileges. Each privilege is a step toward more freedom.

Adolescents seek more and more separation and autonomy. They want to decide who will be their friends and where to go and what to do, and stay out late, whatever they decide. They want to experiment with sex and drugs, they want to go on dates and to parties. They want more and more freedom to do whatever they want. If these wishes for freedom are overly constrained, or too rigidly restricted, there will be rebellion, if not external, than internal, and there will be problems, conflicts. They must be resolved for growth to continue. Otherwise the individual is stifled and falls ill, to a wide variety of physical and mental ailments.

For most people, growth involves more freedoms and further restraints. When the young adults marry, they give up the freedom to be intimately involved with others. When the young married couple have children, they sacrifice a certain amount of freedom for the sake of the child. Still they yearn for more freedom and independence from the requirements of marriage and work. Some have to punch time clocks and listen to the boss. Others work for the freedom to be their own boss. Young marrieds seek travel and vacation time for R & R. There is a certain freedom in sports and entertainment, freedom to let go and be exuberant.

As time goes by adults get more thoughtful and introspective, they seek freedom from the rat-race, from suburban 'everydayness,' from pressures to conform. Pressures are resisted, people want to go their own way, take their own counsel. People get philosophical, seeking an independence from overly restrictive cultural norms, the freedom to think independently for themselves. People seek to be more and more self-reliant, as opposed to codependent. Even as mature adults develop, excess dependency is rebelled against, another source of conflict to be resolved.

Ultimately, we are all interdependent, dependent on each other to a degree, but optimally we wish to be self-sufficient, with self-confidence and self-respect. This is what our forefathers fought for, and this is what we all strive for, and when it is achieved, it is a cause for celebration. And this is why we celebrate the Fouth of July. Fireworks are symbols of the excitement and joy that comes from being free and independent, strong and self-sufficient.

Dr Bloom is Clinical Associate Professor of Psychiatry, Wayne State University School of Medicine. He is a member of the American Academy of Psychoanalysis and on the editorial board of the Wayne County Medical Society. He welcomes comments at his email address--- vbloom@comcast.net.