RELATIONSHIPS IN CYBERSPACE

Victor Bloom MD

The Internet opens up a whole new world of relationships. If you have a personal computer and a modem, you can be in instantaneous touch with the rest of the computer world. Cyberspace is a virtual reality that promotes the concept of a 'global village'. You can correspond via e-mail to distant places at a much cheaper price than a long-distance telephone call. The Internet is truly an information superhighway and there are various services that are like entrance ramps that can be leased or bought inexpensively.

The Internet and the Worldwide Web are endless sources of information and interaction. Physicians can search the world literature on any condition and consult with other physicians. Lawyers can have access to the complete legal library. Anyone can look up or buy most any book. You can write a letter to your president or congressman, or directly to the editor of most newspapers or magazines.

Compuserve, one of the many service ramps, along with Prodigy and America Online, has a service called "CB Simulator". This is like the citizen's band of old, which truckers still use, with their funny names called "handles" and a certain jargon which can be quickly learned. Just as truckers can talk back and forth on it, giving each other pertinent information such as the whereabouts of police cars with radar, computer junkies can enter into conversations in virtual reality. Sometimes, these 'virtual' (not real) relationships can develop into real ones, and there is a society column edited by "Cupcake" (her handle) which documents relationships, marriages and children. These relationships, marriages and children are REAL.

I have heard of retired old men, formerly bored and lonely, spending many hours each days meeting people and having 'chats' on a variety of subjects. Sometimes particular channels are earmarked for special interests, such as poetry and various medical conditions. Some channels are for teenagers and others for senior citizens. Open channels are for whatever, and are full of 'thirty-somethings' looking for conversations on everything from drinking and partying to philosophical and religious discussions.

The open online channels are like cocktail parties, with people throwing quips and one-liners at a rapid pace. Many of the conversations are 'in' jokes and puns, and are about the ongoing problems or activities of people who have come to know each other via CB for years. If you are new in the group, you might get ignored for awhile. You are called a 'newbie' and after a while the conversation will be devoted to letting you in on the 'rules'. Different groups have different characteristics and the rules change. A 'flame war' is when two or more people lose their tempers and raise their voices by using capital letters, a practice which is discouraged. At first the page on the screen looked like a telegram to me and so I used capital letters, which were easier to see, and I was asked to please stop shouting.

With punctuation marks, smiley and glum faces can denote moods and facial expressions and the lack of nonverbal communication is accomodated by words in parenthesis, such as shrugging of the shoulders or raising of the eyebrows. If something is funny, one might respond, "LOL" (lots of laughs), or if it is particularly funny, "ROFL" means 'rolling on the floor, laughing'. IMHO means "in my humble opinion", and there are lots of them.

I have made myself known on CB as a senior psychoanalyst, and have 'interviewed' many CB'ers who have been willing and open. Many have jumped at the opportunity to ask me about various anti-depressants and schools of psychotherapy. Most CB'ers are in the computer business and have college degrees and varied interests and creative talents. One long relationship was with a poet suffering from writer's block, who was very open about her inhibitions and frustrations. Getting her life history, I was able to make some interpretations and suggestions and with my encouragement and support she finished a novel, started two others, and submitted her poetry for scrutiny. She sent me her novel via modem transmission and I could see that it was very good. I can visualize it on the best-seller lists and made into a movie.

I corresponded with a South African poet who sent me many pages of his fantastic jungle doggerel and a high school classmate who was having a sabbatical in New Zealand. I correspond with a psychiatric colleague who is willing to debate the pros and cons of religious belief as it may affect the outcome of psychotherapy. I keep in touch with several former patients by e-mail.

One may debate whether the relationships established or maintained by e-mail or CB is 'virtual' or real, but I can say from personal experience that they are very real. There is a subjective reality in each and every person, which is unique and important. It is different from what is called 'objective reality', whatever can be counted and weighed and measured, but the psychic reality is the most intimate reality in which we live, and cyberspace is a place where millions of people are now sharing their personal experiences and feelings, who have never met in person. Discovering a whole new world of people who do not take up any space can be a gratifying, creative adventure.