NOW IS THE TIME TO WRITE YOUR LIFE STORY

Victor Bloom MD

Grosse Pointe Park

These are the golden years. They are so for many Grosse Pointe senior citizens who have worked hard all their lives and now enjoy retirement. Outdoor opportunities for recreation abound, but there is an indoor activity that is available for re-creation that is largely overlooked, and that is writing. My practice and my life experience inform me that actually, most people have what has come to be termed, "writer's block". There is so much to write about, and not only by professional, published writers. Just as not all music-makers have to play in Carnegie Hall, not all writers will end up on the bookshelves of Barnes and Noble. We each have a life, which is a story, and it would be fun, once you get started, and interesting to write about your life. Everyone is unique in all the world, to quote Francois de Saint-Exupery, and the most important things in life are invisible. Your life story put away in a steamer trunk or safety-deposit box may well be a fascinating find for your grandchildren. But for the time being, never mind your grandchildren, what about your life? Isn't it interesting? Don't you know a lot of stories? Wouldn't you like to spin a yarn?

One of the best things we can do, while we still are alive, is to write. Writing will increase the quality of life and leave a legacy more important than money. It would be a good thing to write your life story. Many people think they cannot write, or that there is not much to write about, that it would not be of interest to others. Most often, that is not the case. If not of interest now, it would be of great interest years from now, beyond our passing. Think of how we have enjoyed the journals of Civil War soldiers and the diaries of our grandparents. People think that only extraordinary events are worth setting down, not realizing, or forgetting the many unique and adventurous events which are stored in our memory bank. Which of us does not have a vivid memory of our childhood days? Think of all the wonderful things that have happened in the classroom or schoolyard. Remember the precious moments captured in Thornton Wilder's "Our Town", which consist of everyday happenings.

Which of us has not felt at times that we have had a profound or funny thought? Which of us has not developed a philosophy of life, an overview that is worth sharing with others. Wouldn't it be interesting to find out what other people think? No one has lived in this world without experiencing traumatic events and seemingly irreparable losses, and each of us has coped, each in our own unique way. Why not pass on the benefit of our experience? It is no longer the case that our grandchildren sit at our feet while we tell them what life was like before television, as they would probably rather watch television. But these children will grow up and will have assignments to write papers, and what better stories can there be, and what better role-model, than to be a grandparent who wrote without an assignment. And it won't be graded. And it will be appreciated.

Can you imagine a teenage grandchild, searching the old trunk in the attic, and finding a folder saying, "My Life Story"? This would be the life of his or her mother's mother, or mother's father, or father's father, or father's mother. What was life like then? What did people think about? What did they feel? What did they do? What better legacy to put in the safe deposit box? We all won't have quite the romantic interludes of "The Bridges of Madison County" to relate, but who knows? What was love and marriage like in those days? And dating and courtship, weddings and honeymoons, travel and war experiences?

Psychologically speaking, writing keeps the brain alive and functioning. As we well know, "if you don't use it, you lose it". Writing is a great way of using the brain. Writing brings back memories and feelings; writing helps us remember. There are too many precious moments to forget; even the awful ones, which are buried most deeply, are hidden goldmines. Writers find that even recalling and reliving painful memories, provides an opportunity to resolve unresolved issues, to finish unfinished business, to use one's mature perspective to achieve an understanding and acceptance of things which we thought were beyond understanding. Writing is therapeutic. As the great psychoanalyst, Erik Erickson said about the last stage of life, outlining the life cycle of adults, it is "integrity or despair".

Writing your life story is a good way to gain self-understanding and self-acceptance, all of which adds to self-esteem, which is essential to mental health. Why be solitary and incommunicado? Write, for heaven's sake!