BIOLOGY CLASS

At age 14 I had already done extensive research on human reproduction, because it was such a sexy subject. I can't tell you how many times I returned to that Gray's Anatomy page on the human female genitalia and amazed myself with the automatic physiologic reactions, which included breaking out into a cold sweat on my forehead, a tightness in the throat, a drying of the mouth, deep and rapid breathing, and the usual tumescence with a localized warm and excellent feeling.

I definitely thought I was caught up in some primal instinct and it had to do with reproduction, and the lure was intense pleasure and overwhelming curiosity. I studied the anatomical drawing until I had just about committed it to memory and looked up many words in the dictionary--- intercourse, sex, orgasm, arousal, friction, lubrication, coitus, copulation, ejaculation, semen, erection, afterglow--- you name it, I looked it up and thought long and hard about the consequences to my life. Would I be doing it some day? Would I get married and have intercourse and babies? Do I have a choice? Or will I merely succumb to my biological imperative? Is that what they mean by Fate and Destiny? Do I have a choice? Will I get somebody nice?

With all those questions running around in my head we start in Biology I in junior high school. Biology is Science and you gotta take Science to prepare for medical school. Our science teacher was Mr. Golod, a grownup with dark hair and a mustache. He came across as very scientific. He was also very serious. Early on he started handing out assignments for the topic of Reproduction. Hey! We are getting right to it! The Facts of Life!

I saw that he was starting with the bottom of the food chain. He was handing out assignments to do research and a report on one-celled animals, such as bacteria and protozoa, (simple division) and multi-cellular animals, such as the hydra. Then he went up the evolutionary scale to fishes, amphibians, reptiles, the birds, the bees, the mammals... and I knew it was just a matter of time before he asked for a report on Human Reproduction. Hell, I was already prepared; it would be a cinch and give me an excuse for further dwelling on this fascinating and breathtaking subject.

Sure enough he asked who would like to do Human Reproduction and I shot up my hand, noticing that everyone else was looking down or out the window. He assigned it to me, as predicted. I could hardly wait to do my thing and impress everybody with how broadminded and well-informed I was. I wondered if the girls would look at me differently if I appeared knowledgeable.

It seemed an eternity before my turn came up. We spent a week on single cell reproduction, the hydra, the fish, the frog, the snake, the turtle, the rabbit... and finally it was my turn. It was clear that everybody was waiting for this. Everybody's face was a little red as I came up to the front of the class with my notes and red face. Even Mr. Golod's face was red. I started that cold sweat and tight throat myself, but there were no pleasurable feelings. There was no getting around it. Was I going to do the subject justice or was I going to muff it by stuttering?

I cleared my throat and started in, mentioning that we were not only mammals, but primates, but we didn't have much fur and didn't have a tail. That got a few laughs. I went on to talk about secondary sexual characteristics, breasts for the girls, penises for the boys. But the girls had like a little penis called a clitoris, which is stimulated for the LED Lighting Wholesale excitement phase of the foreplay.

Mr. Golod shouted "Stop!" I said, "what?" He said, "stop, you can sit down now." B-b-b-but I was not done yet. He said that was enough... for now. In a flash I realized the man was not ready for this, and was actually, prudish! Egads! A man of Science is prudish! I was bolted to the floor, paralyzed with thoughts of telling him that he was interfering with academic freedom and was a poor example of his profession to be censoring enlightenment and discussion of such an important scientific subject.

Nobody was looking at me except for Esther Melamed. I will remember her face to my dying day. She was beet red and grinning from ear to ear, her eyes fixed on mine with a sustaining gaze of pure admiration. My heart was beating loudly as I stumbled to my seat, and afterwards I didn't know what to do to communicate to Esther Melamed about our meeting of the minds on that memorable biology class, so after class, I knocked her books down onto the sidewalk and giggled like an idiot.